The truth about change!

I have just stopped mid cleaning the house for the 12th time this morning because.

 Well if you didn’t know at the minute my new name is Cinderella.

Roll on Wednesday when Matt is home!

It’s been the longest 6 weeks of my life LOL.

 I have spent the morning cleaning lipstick off my chair, laptop, the living room and walls in my office AKA cupboard under the stairs .

Because well you cant take a shower when you have a 3 year old apparently!

They will destroy!!

Note to self- Hide your lipstick in a safe with a padlock.

Anyway I seen a post of Facebook the other day and was thinking about it today and it provided me with this content!

Can always rely on a Facey b post.

How much has my life changed.

I still cannot get over the fact I have 4 children!

It blows my mind daily

Remembering I always said I didn’t want any years ago.

And here I am with 4 of them!

And they are alive and well.

And I am blessed as well as stressed haha.

Anyway!

If you didn’t know this is about change.

Something I’m so passionate about and help people with (after getting no GCSES because I was such a rebel back in my youth and slogging my guts out at UNI for 3 years, having a mini break down in the process but actually doing something with the qualification even if it was 4 years after)

In the good old dictionary Change is described as

1. Make (someone or something) different; alter or modify.

“Both parties voted against proposals to change the law”

2. Replace (something) with something else, especially something of the same kind that is newer or better; substitute one thing for (another).

“She decided to change her name”

We hear the sayings all the time

‘They will never change’

 ‘ A leopard never changes is spots’

And ok factually a leopard cant actually change its spots (correct me if I’m wrong)

But.

It’s absolutely BS that people can’t change!!

You see people base their opinions on what they see.

‘The visuals’

Examples

  1. Some one loses weight and everyone can visually see that!

The person in front of them has changed shape.

There are less of them. Well done, that is amazing OMG.

  • People change their style, they start taking care of themselves and dressing better, oh they have changed! Hmm I wonder what they are doing? Bet they are a drug dealer or they have a boyfriend that pays for everything (I’m sat in my joggers wearing my husbands marine hoody with Sonny’s snot on it’s not me Hun)
  • You go to UNI and get a degree and post your certificate of how amazing you do and everyone celebrates you!
  • You buy your first home and take a pic and share it and everyone jumps on and says well done that’s amazing you smashed it your doing so well!
  • You get a new relationship and people jump on it OMG you’re so happy! I could tell you weren’t right last time it showed. Cos they can see you smiling on this picture.

ALL VISUALS

But when it comes to changing your life, the way you think, your lifestyle choices people just don’t get it.

And a lot of people struggle to invest in themselves with Time, Effort and Money because they can’t see the benefits just yet it, because it’s on the inside!

And I can talk on behalf of the people who don’t get it and the ones who struggle with investing because I never used to either.

But today I’m celebrating all the people that have changed without the visuals.

People who finally walked away from the toxic relationships regardless of the ‘you should just get on with it and make it work’

The ones who haven’t lost weight but have got over their eating disorder and no longer binge!

The ones who finally started to stand up for themselves and say no!

The people who after years of self sabotage finally have love for themselves.

The people who leave the job they hate that pays them well because they deserve to be happy.

I read a book not long ago by James Clear called ‘Atomic Habits’

And In one part James talked about addiction and change.

Food, drugs and other things and it really is so true!

You can take an addict away from their environment and they can go to rehab, they can get stronger and they can become clean!

They change their lifestyle and create new healthy habits! Literally changing their whole life.

But if you put them back in their old environment they are much more likely to revert back to them old habits!

I’m not saying this WILL 100 per cent happen because that’s not true!

And it’s the same as smoking! You give up smoking but if you surround yourself with smokers then again you are more likely to revert back.

Same with weight loss, you lose weight do amazing and reach your goal, but then go back to what you were doing before and guess what? Its back again (this I have done so many times)

But it is absolutely BS that people cannot change! And again I can say it because I have massively since 2015 and 2018!

But (a big but may I add) people have to want it.

You cannot change someone.

You can provide them with the tools, techniques and support but

Ultimately it’s something they need to do themselves!

Which is going to be bloody hard if they continue doing the same day-to-day things.

And if they don’t want to guess what that’s absolutely fine too!

YOU DO YOU.

Some people fear change, because its un nerving, you don’t know what’s going to happen or what to expect so people sit happily in their comfort and love routine (again absolutely fine)

But I’m talking to the people who are fed up in their current life/situation and they want to change.

The people who think

‘I am sick of this shit’

‘Life is shit’

‘I can’t cope with this any more’

The OLD me.

I am telling you

YOU can change.

Just be open minded!

Matt is always taking the mick out of me.

He says I’m like a child sometimes.

I have the attention span of a 2 year old.

Because I love change now!

I get bored very easily, I like new! I like excitement and I love that feeling of un nervy it’s a rush of adrenaline for me.

Well it’s actually fight or flight but anyway.

That has not always been the case believe me!

SO if your reading this and wanting to change some aspect of your life Some tips are.

  • Get really crystal clear on what it is you want to change you can start by looking what you don’t like right now.  And what you want is the opposite what area is it? Relationships, career, health?
  • Start making small changes, they all add up.
  • Just do it, take that first step what’s the worst that could happen? If you don’t like it don’t do it again simple.
  • Don’t be afraid of what others say, its none of their business again they just say what they ‘see’ or ‘knew’.
  • Surround yourself with people who are doing what you want to do. They are your new people!

Just be Real TO YOURSELF and don’t be afraid

Gemma xx

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